change

After a storm of emotional impacts I finally started to step on solid foot. To get rid of this pain I tried approaching every aspect of my life with a more logical and clear way allowing no emotions (yes, it helps a lot). This became a test of my soul looking for an equilibrium/stability in my life. I tried many things looking for a solution but life has its way of cause-correcting. I took every shot that came along / even the ones that I didn’t even knew I was capable of. I’ve no regret how I felt for but life at some point reminds me… shows me what I’m inside this shell.

Besides, this shielded loneliness brings up many questions. For example “how I wanted my life to be?” –-- “A life that I didn’t have any uncertainties, which means I had great understanding of my past/present/future, so that I could shape my future” … I think I’ve heard you say “You’re a control freak lunatic”. That might be true but that is who I’m – try at your own risk. If you’ve a slight intention of taking me serious, you might also ask… does this really work? If there are no surprises in life there is no taste and bla bla… The answer is that, I’m aware that I can’t take every variable in control but even leaving them on their own and at minimum planning for the possible outcomes gives you relief.

OK. Still holding on? Hehe not for long =) you will think I’m insane when you heard “how the girl, I want to share my life with, should be?” except from being beautiful, loving, kind and soft of course =) “she should be understanding – understanding what the current situation means and accept a logical resolution, putting some spontaneous girlish wish that has no solid base and just desired coming from nowhere………… she should be clear – that she should know what she wants/needs and should always be able to tell the naked truth ……… she should have faith in me -that I’ll always want what is best for `us`”. Ok I’m one step closer to freak from freakish.

At this point I lived in a limited world in which the limits are my consciousness. I’ve no regrets what I’ve done or will … I did what I was good at; I sought for the next step and followed the path my mind shaped.

Change number 1 – don’t loose hope.... but don’t expect anything... be prepared...

NP: Jewel – Foolish Games

misunderstood intentions

tonight I broke up with my girl friend... we've been together for 23 months...
as you would imagine it is hard for me... I'm hurt, confused and .... you remember the quote from the silver surfer movie "Did you know I could create a force field inside someone's body and expand it until they explode?" a feeling just like that in my chest

anyway, long story short, here is what my sister wrote on my wall in facebook about the my breakup (a quote from Ayreon - Day Two (Isolation)) and my reply:

Irmak Ozalp (I Liceum Ogólnokształcące im. B. Nowodworskiego) wrote
at 12:28am
I can't believe you're giving up

That's not your way

I can't believe you'd pass the chance to make them pay

You always had complete control

Never thinking twice

You always called the shots, a heart as cold as ice

You're not alone.... I am here dancing to your tune
XXX(L)

Kaya Ozalp wrote
at 12:40am
I always took the shots... the ones that I believed in
seems they all crushed into a wall
causing too much pain, too much sorrow

you know me right... I'm a fighter... but not this time
not when she said "I don't love you anymore"
I don't wanna hurt her anymore

I'm afraid this song is have to end
with cries, with fear, with loneliness
hope not!

I feel the need of a greater existence now
god give me strength
and give me the power to make this right
if I have the slightest chance

if you don't - want to change - clap your hands !!

As you may or may not know - Turkish politics were shaking from the stem. Secular community had huge protests against the ruling party AKP. AKP judged these as a provocative movement for the elections and tried to cover up the events. No tv channel but just a pure secular one mentioned the first gathering and so the newspapers. This can give us a clue on how a complex planned ruling organization we are dealing with. Although this is done with a very professional manner... these guys are still turkish =) they underestimated the scale of the event and thought censoring would be enough. Guess what... people realized the movement showed their anger... and on the second event almost all the main Tv stations broad casted from the meeting.

Moving on, the general election period started, we watched the regular political lies - some soap opera like scenes between uniting parties and resulted in an absolute victory of AKP. The questions to be asked are; what lead to the tension in secular regions? what was AKP thinking? did the opposition enough? what should we expect from future?... In this article I'll try to answer these question from my perspective.


Why don't I support AKP? They had great improvements on social security, governmental services and economical situation. At least they gave that impression to the public. For example they had a so called health revolution. They started the project just before the elections (guess why?). It resulted on a total disaster. The university hospitals are currently in overload status and the schedules for control are 3-6 months due. Also the economy is currently standing on foreign investments, which makes it risky for another economical crisis. On the other hand under AKP ruling, religious acts are tremendously increased. Long story short, they try to remove secularity concept from the constitution while they say otherwise. This is the part that I really hate, being lied to - although I now that this is just politics. Maybe this is the main reason why opposing people don't like AKP - AKP politics is very neatly planned and organized almost perfect minus the human factor. Turkish way of politics is to face the problems directly, and if you have the power you can do any thing...you don't need to lie or do any politics. (or I'm just hallucinating)

Thanks god AKP is trying to enter EU. At least for the sake of Progress Reports we do see some real improvements. For example separating Transportation and Information ministries was a real need. Of course the main power behind these fast improvements are the fact that we don't have a coalition government. Could this be better if CHP won %66 of the seats? Even though they managed, I honestly don't believe they would do better but at least we won't have any threats against secularism.

The path to our future is little bit of threatening for me. For example allowing headscarf would result in enpowernment of the religious community causing more pressure on seculars. I won't want to grow my children in a country where the government acts like they are the hand of god.

I'm an engineer with a little managerial experience. I believe by methodically thinking you could solve almost anything. My solution for the situation is the reorganization of CHP. CHP should remove the old school father-to-son way of politicians, should add academic Prof.s as an advisory committee and leave the decision making to ambitious young business people. As you see this is an utopia for this reason the only thing we could do is to show our teeth and hope this would hold AKP for a while.

Note: This is a follow up to "Secim Meselesi: Ciddi Bir Yazi" by Levent Tuter.

Houston, do you copy?

Salute, my precious friends. How are you? What have you been doing for the past few months? I have a huge list so I'll try to stick to some of the headlines for this catch-up entry. Feel free to tell your story in the comments =D

First of all, the reason behind my delay between my posts is the...ırr... actually I'm not really sure. Most probably Its the fuckin' heat wave around Istanbul - or maybe it is that writing this blog was a little get away from the last semesters work, and now that I'm literally FREE, which means I can find more creative ways to relax =)

Starting from where I left you, I was part of the event Intel GameX, kind of a LAN Party - Tournament thing. It was hosted inside this years Compex show, so it was the biggest public gaming event I have seen. The most important thing about this event is not what happened there, it is what I came home with. Every summer I put away my fluffy orange carpet but this year I found an incredible replacement =). I had much of a trouble to take that huge 2.50m*2.50m hard based poster but despite the inconvenience of my friends, MISSION ACCOMPLISHED! =D

More over, I started playing strategy games like Command and Conquer 3: Tiberium Wars, and StarCraft: BroodWar. The CnC3 is an incredible game with beautiful game play and graphics. Where as StarCraft is a lot fun to play with pals old pals =) - Unfortunately I had to delete both for storage space...

More over I attended 2 concerts this summer.... eventually I attended much more but at least I really enjoyed these two "Dream Theater" and "Within Temptation". 2 concerts single word: INCREDIBLE! You can see the pics from DT concert I took with my shitty cellular-cam. Also check out what I wrote to WT's GuestBook; "Thx for the amazing performance in Istanbul! WT was the solo reason for me being in this festival and I got more than I expected. It was an insult to schedule you guys to 6pm just before some freak show but anyways.... thank you soo much for coming to Istanbul, for this performance - seems like you enjoyed the crowd too...hope we meet again."

By the way, if you watched Transformers; "dude that was awesome =) " it really is "More Than Meets the Eye", If you were in a country like Germany where they don't show movies in their original languages... how bad for you, Go buy the BlueRay realase, get a PS3 to play and a full HD screen to watch that piece of CGI Heaven (Yes it was that good). Even though I watched on the cinema, I'm definately planning to watch it again frame-by-frame.


I won't get in to politics or future plans for this post, I'm planning to post another within the week. More fun is on the way ]:-D Stay connected..

hint for the next episode: I'm moving!

if it doesn't kill me, wounds make me stronger

The last month....it'll be hard for me to explain in words, but maybe I can explain in labels: finals, projects, job applications, midterms, final projects, reports, intel gamex, fights, stress, tempo, sleepless nights, alcohol free

omg, that was incredibly stressing, there is still one week of work left till the end of this semester but isil bozma (my project advisor) is eager to make us work till early july

by the way if you don't have a facebook account !get one! you'll be amazed by the old friends you came across, they recently added last.fm support - in a couple of years we may be expecting google to buy facebook (news: google bought panaromia for couple of millions)

so what is the special occasion for me to start writing again after a months break...my final project report - its due on monday but my PI requested it today for proofing so I have a day off and I am spending it wisely - at home with varying types of alcohol in my cup, chatting - listening music and filling this blog

oookkkk, so little review of previous week, hard working bla bla bla a midterm on Wednesday which was supposed to be 2 hours but ended up being 3 hours which all my class mates spent cheating for the last hour - so what happened - curve bumped up - do I care? depends =)

for the time being question is "should I drink my can of apricot with absolut mandrin or with %50 alcohol?" polls reveal that smirnoff would be a better choice =D (there were some experimental advises like adding milk but I'm not in the mood of spilling my %50 smirnoff =D

monday monday, I still need to review the final report for monday but it's my only deadline left - just a temporary little relief but it feels damn good =)

I think I will keep you posted from now on....

don't worry, be happy

Writeups

Last Thursday was the deadline for the Write-ups for the year book. Because of the 2000 char limit, I was able to put only a limited parts of the write-ups(It is also the same for the people I've written writeups) so I decided to write them here which (I hope) will stay much longer and will be much more accessible. Here we go:

***Note: They are all in Turkish =)

From: Hande Kayadeniz
Tarih dersinin sinavi insanin hayatinda hic beklenmedik bir yol cizebiliyormus. Guzel bir yol =) iyiki ogun yanima geldin! Bu sayede senin gibi tatli bakisli, melek kalpli ve durustulugu ile insanin icini isitan, insana hayatin ne kadar guzel oldugunu hatirlatan ve baglanmasini saglayan bir melekle tanistim. ***edit by request***. Hayata gulumseyerek ve butun zorluklari asabilecegine, basarabilecegine inanarak hep adim at. Cunku iyi gunde de kotu gunde de unutmaki hep sevdiklerin yaninda olacak sana her zaman destege hazir olacaklar... ***edit by request***.... her sey gonlunce olsun.....

From: Levent Emin Tüter
kısaltmalardan kurulu dünyalarda takılıp (İYİK, compec, SNN), dostluktan eee... dostluğa açılan bir pencerede yeşil (kırmızı mıydı?!!) perdeler ördük. o değil de önü açık bu çocuğun, bak yazıyorum buraya.

From: Selen Özgür
Bir masal prensim vardı, beni canavarlardan, kötü kalpli insanlardan koruyan, başım sıkışınca da hazinesini bana sonuna kadar sunan üstüne üstlük yurtdışı seferlerinden getirdiği ganimetleri arkadaşlarıyla paylaşmadan çekinmeyen dost canlısı bir prens. Bu prensin ne bir orduya ne de beyaz ata ihtiyacı vardı; onun telefonu zaten ışın kılıçlarına, büyülü tozlara bedeldi. Bir WADAA dediğimiz anda yanımızda belirir ve hüzünleri dağıtır, neşemize neşe katardı. Bu prensin gücünün kaynağı neydi bilmem bolca içtiği suyla yaptığı fotosentez mi yoksa kırmızı et mi tartışılır. Nice düşman şovalyeler, krallar, prensler ve de cadılarla savaştık prensimiz sayesinde, o her zaman yanımızda oldu desteğini eksik etmedi.
Şimdi korkuyorum masalın sonuna geldik ve o düşler ülkesine geri dönecek ya da ben uykumdan uyanacağım. Sonra ... 'keep hoping, nothing to spare...'

From: Gönenç Seçil Tarakçıoğlu
İşte birkaç “süper kahramanım”dan biri!! ISL’in, Compec’in belkemiği; Java fatihi; Ege’nin iki yakasının da sakini; görev adamı; eylem insanı… Öte yandan eğlenmenin de diğer adıdır. Kulüpler arası kişidir; rakı, uzo ve daha niceleri ondan sorulur; oturup saatlerce muhabbet edilir, hele Üsküdar gecelerinde, fasıllarda çakırkeyif sohbetine doyum olmaz :)
Veda etmeyeceğim ama en sahici zor anlarımda birden bire belirip sıyrıksız kurtulmamı sağladığın, hep yanımda yakınımda olduğun ve tüm kahramanlıkların için çokk teşekkür ederim.

From: Berkay Deniz İlhan
Zaman zaman kişiliklerimizin örtüşmediği ağır dönemler atlattık, bu özelliğine biraz kızsam, biraz da şaşsam da bana dayanmayı başardın… Yerinde olsam aynısını yapar mıydım; sanmıyorum… Bu tufanlı dönemleri göz ardı edersek labda çok güzel günler geçirdiğimiz de bir gerçek… Sana birkaç kere söylemiştim; en büyük hatan bilgisayar değil de elektrik elektronik mühendisliğini seçmek olmuş bence… Çünkü kafa yapısı, dünyaya bakış olarak bilgisayar mühendisliğinin sana sunacağı çok daha fazla olanak vardı… Olsun, sen bu bölümde de alabileceğinin en fazlasını aldın, yaratabileceğin en uygun ortamı yaratmaya çalıştın… Ve şu dört-beş yılın sonuna geldiğimizde kendini diğerlerinden farklı kılacak birçok tecrübeye ve özelliğe sahip biri haline geldin... Hayatımın herhangi bir döneminde karşıma çıktığında yad edip dalga geçeceğim bir yönün olsa da kariyerinin peşinde her an koşuyor olman kendi hedeflerin açısından en mantıklısı… Bir de olur olmaz “soket” demeyi bıraksan ; )… Bu arada ben o absinth denen meredi sevmedim, sevemiycem de sanırım :P Hayat boyu başarılar : )

From: Işıl Burcu Barla
Kayacım, birinci sınıfta “vadaaaa” diye girdin hayatıma. Çok güldük eğlendik beraber, çok güzel günler geçirdik eminim daha bir çoğu da bekliyor bizi. E zaten sen her sene bir uzo getiriyorsun nasılsa, gideriz yine güneye, alırız Selen’i, alırız tüm sevdiklerimizi yanımıza…
Kaya, sen şu bölümde tanıdığım en düzgün, en iyi, kafamın en iyi uyuştuğu insanlardan birisin. İyi ki varsın, iyi ki arkadaşımsın, hep böyle kal olur mu? Canım, tüm hayatın boyunca sana mutluluk, sağlık ve başarı dilerim. Tüm hayallerinin gerçek olması, hayatın hep iyi şeyler getirmesi, tüm sevdiklerin ve tabi ki bizimle beraber çok çok güzel günler geçirmen dileğiyle…

From: Berkan Öğüt
Kaya Başkan, seninle az ter dökmedik şu okul için. COMPEC’i kurtarma parolasıyla çıktığımız yolda kulübü bataktan kurtardık ama ikinci sınıf bir kulüp olmaktan kurtaramadık. Olsun, senin o dönemki performansını gördükten sonra bundan böyle benim her daim başkanım olarak kalacaksın :). Ayrıca güvenilir kişiliğin de şu okulu daha çekilebilir kılmaya yardımcı oldu. İleride de her türlü göreve hazırım başkanım, her şey gönlünce olsun.

From: Yiğit Veli Saf
Bölümün eğlenmesini bilen, üsküder eğlencelerinin değişmez insanı, lab’da bilgisayarımı paylaştığım süper insan. Sen olmasan bölümdeki bir parçam eksik kalırdı, hele labda zaman hayatta geçmezdi. Her zaman yardımcı olacak, eğlendirecek bişeyler buldun. Herşey için çok teşekkür ederim.

From: Oğuz Atasoy
Bilgisayar bilginle tanıdım seni ve önceleri kimin olduğunu araştırdığım, sonraları telaffuz edemediğim mail adresinle. Hep line scanner kamera kullanmamızı önerirdin projemde. Projelerden, ilginç tasarımlardan konuşurduk. Kuru yemiş ve abur cuburcumuzdun. Kuru yemişin bol olsun…

From: Erkan Açar
Compec, sanane.com, uzo, star wars, eksi sozluk, dominos, isl, sinirsiz pizza, alcatel, bogazici EE, yuzme ihtisas, gibi anahtar kelimelerle tanimlayabilecegimiz Kaya herseyden once iyi bir arkadas ve dosttur. Ilk tanismamizi hatirlarim. Levent bu da bizim arkadas yeni girdi okula diye compec camiasina tanitmisti. Sicakkanligi ve de calisma azmiyle dikkat ceker. Sadece capkinlikta degil, bir cok klup orgonizasyonunda da canla basla calisarak uyelerin takdirini kazanmistir. Basarilarinin devamini dilerim :)

From: Fatih Çalaklı
Kaya, bolumde seni hep bilirdim ama tanima ve tanisma firsatini bu yil aldigimiz derslerle buldum. Keske daha fazla zamanimiz olsa...Durusunla, zekanla, yetenek ve ilgilerinle eminim klupte ve bolumde basardiklarini, is yasaminda da devam ettirecegine hic suphem yok. Hayat sana hep mutlu olacagin yonunu gostersin. Yolun acik olsun.

From: Gülhande İşbilir
ne Çabuk buyudun sen? Daha dun beraber afis asmiyor muyduk?Ama iyi ki buyudun ve buyurken de hep yanimda oldun. Seninle beraber afis asmak da, Çimlerde muhabbet etmek de, omzunda aglamak da, uzun uzun dertlesmek de, en zor anlarda sesini duymak da Çok guzeldi; Çok ozeldi. Cunku hep soyledigim gibi senin yerin bende ayridir! Dostluklarin onune Çok engel cikar, Çok yollar girer aralarina dostlarin... Ama unutulmamasi gereken tek birsey var ki gerÇek dostlar hep ayni gokyuzunun altindadir. Ve gokyuzu varoldukca paylasacak daha Çok sey vardir o dostlukta. Bana gokyuzunun kaybolmayacagina dair soz verir misin?

And the writeups that I've written:

From: Selen Özgür
Dostumuz, annemiz, aşçımız, çatlağımız, B12 bağımlısı arkadaşımız, kardeşimiz. Geriye dönüp baktığımda üniversite anılarımın neredeyse hepsinde sen varsın – iyiki de varsın. Şu okul sensiz bukadar renkli olmazdı. İyiki seni tanımışım dostum. Hiç bişiyi takma, hep böyle kal. Not: Yemeklerini yemeye sıksık uğricam zaten, okul bitti diye benden kurtulduğunu sanma sakın =) bir de alkol olayına tekrar başlasan da adam gibi kafa dağıtıp sarhoş olsak. Herşey gönlünce olsun!

From: Gönenç Seçil Tarakçıoğlu
Sen aramızda bizi koruyan, yardımını esirgemeyen insan kılığında bir Melek olmalısın. Bu kadar cana yakın, iyi kalpli, yardım sever olmanın başka bir açıklaması olamaz. Bunca yıldan sonra bile bukadar saf ve iyi kalmana hala hayret ediyorum. Herkezi herzaman kendinden önce tuttun, artık kendini öne çıkartıp insanlara “Hayır” demeyi öğrenme vaktin geldi. Hep güçlü ol ve iyi kal, kendine çok iyi bak!

From: Berkay Deniz İlhan
Şu okulda sabrımı en çok zorlayan kişi de sen oldun sanırım. Normalde silip devam edebilirdim ama içimden hep “aslında iyi biri – sadece stresli – sen çizgini bozma” dedim. Haklı çıktığıma çok seviniyorum – iyiki seni tanımışım. Bilgi konusunda hep benden bir adım önde olduğundan, sana yetişmeye çalıştım. Her hafta oturup “bu hafta Işıl Hoca için ne yaptık” dedik, sonunda bu da bitti. ISL’deki “bira eşliğinde research kültürü”’ne katkılarımızı hep güzel anılar olarak hatırlayacağım. Akademik olarak çok başarılı olacağına eminim, hocalara patlamaktan çekinme, kedine iyi bak.

From: Işıl Burcu Barla
Acısıyla tatlısıyla 4 sene geçirdik. Nasıl bilmesemde bizi hep senin istediğini yapma konusunda ikna ettin, helal olsun valla =). Deli gibi güldük eylendik, yeri geldi oturduk elektronik çalıştık, üstüne Selen’in güzel yemeklerini yedik, sonrada dalga geçip keyif çattık – çöpçatanlık bile yaptık =). Ouzo ile çilingir sofrası – ne güzel günlerdi onlar. Zaten başarılı olacağına eminim, Alamanya’larda kendine dikkat et, bizi ihmal etme.

From: Berkan Öğüt
Tanıdığıma en mutlu olduğum kişilerden biri de sensin. İyi kalpliliğin yardım severliğin hep öne çıktı. Beni kırmayıp canla başla çalıştığımız Compec’ten sana hala bir pizza borcum var unutmuş değilim. Başım sıkıştığında hep yardımıma koşacağını bildiğim nadir insanlardan birisin dostum. Hayatta başarılı olacağına eminim, hep böyle kal.

From: Yiğit Veli Saf
Tanıdığım çok çok az kişi için “esaslı adam” dedim, sen bunlardan birisin. Karakterin, yaşam tarzın, insan ilişkilerin ve tabiki yakışıklılığın =) – herzaman hayran kaldığım örnek bir başarı profili çizdin. Bundan sonra da böyle gideceğine eminim dostum, kendine iyi bak dostum. Not: Üsküdar SSK’da yer ayırt ben geliyorum.

From: Oğuz Atasoy
Seni bildim bileli çalışmandan eylenmene hep mütevazi oldun, hep dozunda kalıp hiç aşırıya kaçmadın. Yeter diyip duvarları da yıktığını da görücez inşallah =) Hiç bir zaman kimseden yardımını esirgemedin, hep iyi kalpli oldun – iyilik yapan iyilik bulur. Kendine çok iyi bak, hayatta başarılar.

Greatest Living American

Now it is official - Stephen Colbert is the Greatest Living American. If you doubt it - ask google. Actually this is a Google Bomb by Colbert Report writers like the previous act "Truth has become a commodity".

More over about the last weeks parade in Ankara, another one is announced to be held in Istanbul on April,29 - which is next sunday - at Caglayan square/Sisli. See you there =)

Returning back to my boring life, I was stuck on JLIST's, wasn't able to change a value on a Jlist - solution is as follows, put the values on a vector, send the vector to the jlist and then the scroll pane and then the parenting panel. And to modify the values, change the value in the vector, resend it to jlist, resend jlist to the scroll pane, and repaint the jPanel. It is a lame job to do these each time you change a value but - it is how java spins this thing.

Because that my college friends are graduating this year - I have a lot of write-ups
to write for the year book and I haven't started yet. I must start any time soon.

The surprise of yesterday was that Prof. Isil Bozma (also known my project advisor) skipped our weekly project meeting. I feel like she doesn't have right to skip a meeting when she is a professor. Probably something important have happened.

On Wednesday me, my sister and some friends went to Taksim for a live performance of the Group Badem. Actually I wasn't expecting much but we had fun.

Have you checked out the new Command & Conquer 3 a.k.a Tiberium Wars. The game is fantastic, you should try it with a good pc - the modelings and effects are magnificent.

One more thing before I go to sleep, Defrag your pc! I just looked and there is 60% fragmentation.

I couldn't sleep well last night so I'll have a little nap.. may be I add some more


*For those who doesn't know Stephen Colbert - he is hosting his own television show The Colbert Report which is a Comedy Central program watched by 1.2m viewers per night.
Some quotes from Stephen Colbert in White House Correspondents' Association Dinner:

I believe in democracy. I believe democracy is our greatest export. At least until China figures out a way to stamp it out of plastic for three cents a unit. As a matter of fact, Ambassador Zhou Wenzhong, welcome. Your great country makes our Happy Meals possible. I said it's a celebration.

The point is it is the heart-warming story of a man who was repeatedly punched in the face, so don't pay attention to the approval ratings that say that 68% of Americans disapprove of the job this man is doing. I ask you this, does that not also logically mean that 68% approve of the job he's not doing?

I believe the government that governs best is the government that governs least. And by these standards, we have set up a fabulous government in Iraq.

Turkey demonstrates the power of secularism

Yesterday Turkey had a massive rally. Official records show that 370,000 people attended but most of the Turkish newspapers and Tv channels even didn't bother to publish. At most they put a minor headline and a picture. On the other hand International news agencies labeled it as the most important event of the day. It seems to me that some people are trying to bury this event. Maybe the people at Anıtkabir were right (some people were shouting "satılmış medya" meaning media is supporting the current government) I really hope they are wrong but in any case, we MUST keep this topic alive. On the other hand there is a probability that I maybe working with Turkcell on a project. The subject is mobile control and intelligence of smart houses. That will be interesting but there is a chance that our proposal may be rejected because of my early graduation. Turkcell is trying to support a master thesis which will last for 2 years - not 8 months. Have you seen the movie Renaissance? It is an animation film in French. I'm really looking forward to watch it but couldn't find a buddy for the movie. If you would like to watch it to message me ASAP. By the way if you are using a Windows Mobile 5 device, you should definitely check this out. With Minilyrics you can download the synchronized lyrics of the specific song with your favorite media player, embed the lyrics to the id3 tags of the songs and listen and sing with your Windows mobile device. It is really amazing. It always asks you to buy the software but the trial never expires.

plates of the truck

I'm not sure it was that big ford trucks or some other brand.. but I sure saw the driver. It was that sleepless nights which drove that truck over me. As I mentioned in my previous posts, this week was a real killer for me. I better start first from the good parts: On saturday I went to EksiLimon with 2 friends, there was live music and the band was also from Bogazici University. The songs were old and very cliche but they were good. I can't remember if I danced or not but we definitely had fun.

Following that I came across some old pictures in composto web server. Photos from the first official day of my life in Bogazici University. Old good times... I was on the orientation desk of compec even though I was a freshman too =) . I can't see many of these people for a long time now. We have too much to catch up.

Any ways this was the good part. Now the evil part starts:the perceptron, artificial neural networks project was due for Wednesday but with the help of berkay I managed to write the code on Monday. Also on Monday night I wrote down the text parts of my project progress report, which is also due for Wednesday. I sent for the approval of the project advisor but she replied that It would be better for her to check the final version of the material. The reply came on Tuesday midnight and I also realized that I had a missing part on neural networks project. You realized what this means right? another sleepless night of course. I made the changes for the projects at 4:30am and went to bed to get up at 8. I strait went to school and made the returned corrections from the teacher. I was trying hard to finish because the sooner I finish sooner I go to bed again - good motivation. I kept listening very loud metal music to stay awake and ate a lot of dry grapes in order to stay alive (also a lot of dark chocolate). I sent the papers back at 3pm an I was in my bed at 3:30. I think I slept till 6pm so that I could study for my midterm on Thursday. I studied till 2 and went to bed got up, more studying and then the midterm and then more courses and then..... here we are.. now I can get some rest.

Do not forget to sleep enough....

ps: have you checked out the new solid state drives... they are fantastic! (update: and their prices are astronomic - 32GB<->$700 - are they insane?)

java socket - c socket - what the hell is a socket?

I spent 2 sleepless nights trying to establish a common platform for the communication of the two parts of the project. At last I was able to send and receive packets from each sides. Next step is embedding the gui and control software to socket programs in each side.

Enough with this busy busy talking, I had fun on wednesday, it was Hande's birthday so we celebrated it (worst part was buying the presents). After that she went to her family so I went back to school - but this time for free food =) Selen invited me and other buddies from the department to have a feast both for our eyes and stomach. The foods were really delicious and the I had a very good time chatting with friends.

I paid back this fun with working till 4am for the meeting on friday morning. At least I feel a little relaxed when I think of the next week. One of the midterms are postponed so I officially have 1 midterm, 1 mid-term project report, neural networks project deadline and a matlab homework. How nice... I started to feel stressed again.

Couple of hours ago levent called about the plan for tonight - then he decided to postpone that... I was tired anyways so it'll be better for me, most probably we'll meet tomorrow - I'm looking forward to see Galip Tekin in his office (hehe =)

hate Winsock

It's been over 9 hours since I started my search on a working c++ server client pair. Its a shame that even some computer science grads doesn't know how to program with winsocks. At last a couple hours ago I could find some peace of code and compile it. I also tried the sample code on msdn which I couldn't compile on Visual Studio 6. It was kind of creepy but at the end I managed to accomplish the first part of my project: get a c++ server-client pair. I also compiled a server-client pair with java.
Next two steps are:
1) c++ server - java client
2) c++ client - java server
3) c++ server&client - java server&client (threads may be needed)

I have a class at 9, most probably I'll sleep after the class.

Another sleepless night... nighty night

TiSP - Google's solution for free Broadband Internet Access

At last Google come up with another ingenious idea that eases the pain of people paying hundreds of dolars to their broad band internet. TiSP (standing for Toilet Internet Service Provider) is a new technique which uses the local sewage system. It comes with a do-it-yourself kit.



The key points is that it is easy and free. I requested one for myself, be quick to request yours! Have a nice April Fools' Day =)

job applications

Today I spent many hours on filling out forms for job applications. I was surprised by the number of positions available for new grads. If you are interested, you can access my cv over here. I usually keep it as a pdf file but for the sake of storage I used Google docs.

My plan for today was going to the lab and working on apes but this application thing took a lot more time then I expected, at least I'll have time to close the gap tomorrow.

On the other hand I crossed over an opera song which reminded me that I still couldn't have chance to see an opera. I'm really looking forward to go to an opera, this means I'll be open to invitations =)

by the way, new thing alert!
listen: Manto (a group with the sound of a Wolfer) (what is a wolfer? you should figure that out)
Very good band, former Battle of the Bands winner!

So on and so fort, I watched the latest Lost episode... what the hell was that... The only reason I'm still watching the series is that the producers declared it will eventually have an end. I'm really bored with new mysteries. (seems like lost fans didn't like my entry in EksiSozluk)

Your reporter is reporting live from far future, good night...

beer and research

After a week of 4 hours of sleep per night, I'm back in the lab working on the java - c++ socket interface with 3 beers and 4 friends in hand. I've three separate meeting from 10 to 1am so I better get going to my bed (ps: I'm still in ISL). Anyways - a list of what I have learned today:
1- Stay in class on Thursdays - there may be quiz on telecommunication course
2- Ad hoc connection is very trivial to setup
3- Lord of the rings online has hell lot of updates

a little todo list and it will be perfect:
1- Encrypt the adhoc connection with apes
2- java - c++ socket interface
3- java control pad
x- (changed)java image display
4- java libraries for map display

good list for a week...

// ok - just got out of the project meeting, It feels good to be the only one that had something to show haha =) - on the other hand the others are still having a hard week because of their courses

ps: have you tried Lord of the Rings Online, I'm really curious about the game, may be I join after the huge download of the updates

keep on rolling babe

I finally managed to finish my NN project and can have a peaceful sleep. The important thing for today was the makeup they did on the hair-dresser. I was so embarrassed of that I couldn't directly go to school and spent an hour at akmerkez sitting on a table facing the floor. Anyway got normal after I learned that they weren't doing makeup for the photo-shoot (things are need to be done the way they are and it is way better than being photoshopped). Hope those pics will be worth that trouble...

up and running

Yes, we are back in bussiness... the guys from Intel came, they told us abouttheir solutions for software design on multi-core systems... although it wasn't that informative I learned some key things. For example I had a misunderstanding that a one thread process could also use the whole cpu on the other hand that wasn't the case: "A thread can not be seperated for multiprocessors" I thought this was a resolved issue but it seems not. Also we got our license for Intel C++ compiler and IPP standing for Integrated Performance Primitives. After my tour on the lab they also offered help with a donation embedded system - cpu and motherboard (with PCI) with low power consumption.

After this morning rush, I've an appointment with the coiffeur. hmm - why should I be needing a coiffeur in the middle of the day... The answer is photo-shoots for the record 2007. After that I should be back on top of my computer working on my project for wednesday. Say "cheessseee"

C'MON

It is 3 in the morning and I can't go any further on the project. An array should be 64 items long but it is said to be 8 elements. whatever - it's been a long night - I missed the weekend already...

Couple of minutes ago I checked my rss feeds from google reader - one of them is youtube top 10 - and guess what number one is a video named "EURO 2008 Greece 1:4 Turkey !GAYREEKS CAN'T PLAY FOOTBALL :]" - most probably after turkey's ban on youtube - greeks would ban the internet or even football... these 2 nations are so similar that they hate each other... //this is all for today, see you tomorrowwzzzzZZZZZ........

runaway weekend

After a weekend full of being lazy and having fun, now I'm back in reality facing deadlines. Any ways my weekend was good, I was planning to enhance my online interface for a long time. On the other hand as I mentioned before, we celebrated(sort of) Levent's birthday. I went to beerport at half past 9, and after 3 beers it was 11pm so I went to take Hande(my girl friend) from her work place. She is working in a Hotel in Taksim. She called me to come upstairs and view her work place. The place was magnificant - worth the money of course. But I should also note that their uniform sucked. The plan was going back to besiktas but Levent and the others decided on going to taksim so we waited in the hotel. By the time I met her colleagues and one of them offered me free drinks - at that point I would definitely refuse but the offer was a glass of Jack Daniels which I couldn't refuse. The drink and the place was very beautiful (I wonder how much that drink would cost if I was a customer - they charge 3€ for a 250cl water). About Levent again - My decision was not to buy any presents - but who knows, may be I change my mind and go buy something before he goes back to Sweden. We walked down the istiklal and went to a place named "eksi limon". The place was empty but at least music was good. After another beer and a little chit-chat we took a cab and turned back home. Because that it was 2am in the morning Hande stayed at my place.

I wasn't planning to write diary in here but who knows what will come out when you start writing. Tonight I'll try to finish the neural networks project and there is a meeting with intel emea directors in the lab I looking forward to - maybe a job opportunity.

This is all for now,
see you later,

ps: check out this entry in ek$isozluk, an incident from friday night

what have we done now

I know kung-fu!

Started with this quote because today I got used-to 3 separate web pages in which I didn't have a clue. These are last.fm - blogger.com and last of all Google-Analytics.
I can't say google-analytics is very user friendly for beginners, on the other hand it brings hell-lots of features. Adding it to your site is trivial. Just sign-up, add your site and copy the script to the body of you webpage. That's it, you'll just have to wait for people to come to your site, you'll have plenty of time to wonder around each tab in the site reports. (A hint: if you are looking for referrals it is under All Reports>Marketing Optimization>Marketing Campaign Results>Referral Conversion)

Telling more about what I've to do for the following days... a list would be great:
1) Neural networks project for wednesday
2) Communication Engineering homework for thursday
3) Apes teleoperation interface outline for friday

Tomorrow night we'll be at beerport@besiktas celebrating Levent's birthday, I'm not sure either I should buy a present or not because he's not the type of guy for birtdays... anyways, I'll decide tomorrow,

will keep you posted

oops I forgot to inform the guys from real networks for the latest updates (4)

last.fm

one follows another, now lets tell about other things I discovered today. First of all last.fm - Although I have heard about it before, I just got my account from it. The most important feature I liked is ofcourse song statistics. Although I can't see them change on blogger right now, I think I'll figure that out soon. Any ways, don't worry - I will keep you posted with what I learned that day.

update: it seems rss feed has some delay, I switched to image version, no problem so far